shdwo - Explanation / Indefinite Suspension Return

[shdwo]

After much hesitation, I've decided to share some insights into what transpired during my absence from the community and the events leading to my suspension. I also wish to express my intention to return to my former position.

My original suspension thread can be found here:

9th of August, 2021​

On the 9th of August, 2021, I received a ban from the Discord server due to making regrettable racist and transphobic remarks. For full transparency, you can view the comments that were made here and here. They involved comments such as "I hate trans" and "white supremacy". At the time, I failed to see the seriousness in some of the words I was saying, viewing them as jokes. However, I now see the gravity of my actions and just how much it affected some people. Additionally, I was involved in bullying certain members in the discord server, to which I deeply regret. Looking back on this, I can see just how immature I was and I apologise for it wholeheartedly.

I often used to play devil's advocate and got involved in arguments just for argument's sake. Furthermore, my stubbornness often hindered resolution. These traits not only strained relationships within TotalFreedom but also impacted my personal life. It was an argument with one of my closest friends that led me to realise that I needed to change.

Sometime following​

Following my discord ban, I was angry and annoyed at the events that transpired, leading me to seek solace in-game to blow off some steam. Regrettably, I resorted to griefing an individuals build and pasting ender portals en masse all over the flatlands to tank the server's TPS. My response was in no way professional and further shows my immaturity at the time.

While I am unable to find specific threads pertaining to the ban, it seems as though they were locked to be admin only. From my recollection, I had received an indefinite ban from the events that took place on the server that day. However, this ban was lifted about a year or two ago during a purge of the ban list.

During late 2021 - early 2022​

Throughout the remaining months of 2021 and the beginning months of 2022, I often bypassed my discord ban to annoy and stir up drama. I'd go under names such as "cucumber" and "anemone" to just generally be a cunt. I exhibited behaviour that served no constructive purpose, reflecting only on my immaturity at the time. I regret any harm or annoyance caused to the individuals that were affected by my actions under these aliases. I want to sincerely apologise again for my behaviour and emphasise the fact that I have committed to changing my behaviour for the better.

I have been wanting to make a thread like this for a while but I've been putting it off as I didn't want to spoil any relationships with people on the server that are not aware of my past. It seemed only right that I make this thread explaining what transpired so everyone has full transparency on what went on.

Intention to reinstate​

I intend to reinstate at some point, assuming the procedures permit it. The suspension return was a good opportunity to do both simultaneously, to address the events that occurred during my ban period and formally state my intention to reinstate.

Again, I am deeply sorry and if I've missed anything that went on please let me know. My memory is awful and I don't have access to a lot of the old threads. Not a good mix.

 

[fres]

Vouch: shdwo at the moment helps the server lots regardless of having no administrative position I believe it'll be very beneficial for the server when he does.

 

[gamingto12]

Honestly, since shdwo came back, there hasn't been any major issues that have come up. It's clear that he's learned from his mistakes and he's willing to prove himself, seeing as he's already started doing that by attaining the Discord Moderator status. I'm willing to vouch for shdwo's reinstating, I probably don't remember when shdwo was an admin (maybe assistant executive...my memory is fucky sometimes), but I'm sure he did a damn good job helping out when needed.

 

[Taah]

Vouch, I don't remember this situation but from the short time I've known the individual, shdwo has been really kind to the members and interactive, as well as hasn't shown any signs or bad behavior related to his suspension

 

[Noah]

vouch the hotdog man has learned

 

[Luke]

ok but i want a personal apology for the stuff u did to me, remind me what you did again?

(vouch)

 

[0x7694C9]

Now, I wasn't there for all of this, and I hardly know shdwo, but this looks to me like a sincere apology for something he did in the past. I'll vouch. He's a cool guy.

 

[Ashaz]

I can't even lie, as someone who used to annoy you a lot but also was largely affected by your behaviour, I feel that you've made a solid approach to return to the community. There's a saying that you can forgive, but not forget. For me, I think our recently nurtured friendship goes against that statement. People make mistakes. The second link is clear evidence of that. People also change.

The internet can be a place where friendships are broken, but it is also something that can mend or make new ones. TF is based on a block game, anything that happens here shouldn't be taken deeply but it is and that's part of the nature of it.

We've both put our differences aside and I can now call you a friend. I wish you luck in becoming an admin again.

 

[Fleek]

Given there are no concerns with your thread, feel free to apply for reinstatement at any time